The Yin and the Yang (Adjustments)

We have been so blessed! By bringing home Kameron after a year of ton of paperwork, prayer, preparation and lot's of education. It is wonderful to say he is finally home! We have been blessed by the opportunity to travel and experience China, our son's birth country. And what a life changing and memorable trip it was! We have been blessed by dear friends and family who have been incredibly supportive and have loved on us throughout this process. And now that we are home, they continue to find ways to support and love us during this cocooning season. Thank you. 

Adoption is a beautiful thing. But it also has it's brokeness. It's hard parts. It's rough edges. Since coming home, we have battled some serious jet lag, getting to know one another and his new brothers more, new foods, new smells, new culture, the list goes on. And literally, nothing is the same. Nothing here is like it was in China. You cannot get a Snickers Bar in China that tastes anything like it does here in America. Labels can look the same, but really, they couldn't be anymore different! 

Many have asked how we are all doing. The answer isn't simple. It's complex. There are beautiful moments. And then there are difficult one's. Kameron has been grieving hard. And yet he has also been so strong. And we see him making huge strides everyday. He has been a good big brother. But also, he does things just to irritate his little brothers (he fits in so well already!) 

I cannot begin to fathom all he has been through. All he has lost. Willingly walking away from everything he knows in China. Trusting these strangers he has only known a couple weeks. This boy has experienced more loss than I have. He has been so very brave. 

In the adoption world, seeing these hard moments this soon, is actually a good thing. I wish I had felt that way when it first started getting difficult. But I was shocked. And jet lagged. Despite how well we had been prepared and educated (our agency does a fabulous job) nothing can prepare you for the uniqueness of your individual child. Kameron's way of expressing grief was not what we had expected. And we were not sure what was happening nor how to respond. This hadn't been covered in all of our adoption education or our own research.

We had prepared for much worse than this. We had prepared for so many scenarios. But this one baffled us. We called our agency's awesome post-adoption team. They are wonderful. They explained what was happening, how they have heard of it before and is pretty common, and how we should respond. And it helped. Tremendously.

There have been some beautiful moments, that have brought tears to my eyes and took my breath away...

(Family time feeding the ducks)

There have also been tears of sadness for our boy who has lost so much. 

Jesse Jay, Toby and Noah are thrilled to have Kameron home. They love their older brother so much. They have struggled to sleep at night because they are so excited to be with him every possible moment. They have done awesome. There are moments that should try their patience. Yet we see them do all they can to help. To be patient. And they love to snuggle and play with their big brother.

(Kameron and Toby on the elliptical together. There was much giggles.)

(They mustache you a question, but they will shave it for later....)

(Family video games)

As many of you know, I returned to work yesterday. It went better than we had expected. I called multiple times, was sure to be home on time, and Jesse made sure I was on speaker phone so the boys could hear my voice. Jesse is wonderful with Kameron. Keeping him busy. Trying to make him laugh and engage. Jesse has eternal patience. Seeing these two together and bonding has been simply, beautiful. When I came home from work, Kameron saw me from the corner of his eye. And I saw it, despite his efforts not to let me see it, but the largest smile I have seen from him, ever! That smile...... :)

We have been loved on by our friends and family here in Nampa. We have been brought a few meals, homemade sorbet, and pies. And we have so appreciated them all! Thank you! As Noah suggests, it was "lick the bowl good!"

 This Christmas, will be Kameron's very first time celebrating Christmas. He enjoyed putting up the tree ornaments and picking out his stocking (which matches dad's). 

Life is good. And also hard. There are great moments and some rough one's. God has been so good and faithful throughout this entire adoption journey.